What it means to advocate

One of the greatest resources to the adoption community is the No Hands But Ours website. I am always encouraged by the posts at this website. Over the last 5 years, I have grown to really love and admire many of the authors on the blog. Just the other day, this was the post about advocating. 

Read it HERE. 

There is this famous quote that is loved by many of us in the adoption community. It is by David Platt.

"Orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces. It is easier to pretend they're not real before you hold them in your arms. But once you do, everything changes."

Isn't that the truth? I remember the trip to the government orphanage on my first trip to China. WOW. All of those beds, those dark walls. No toys... and very few workers. Baby after baby laying in a crib. We went into one room and all of the babies were sitting in bamboo type high chairs, and one ayi went down the line, shaking a toy in front of the baby's face. It was heart wrenching to say the least. I was thankful that my daughter had only experienced it for 6 months, before being transferred to a much better facility. I remember holding my daughter and being overwhelmed with joy. She was perfect in every way. And to think about the others left behind tore me to pieces. Everything changed.

That's why we do what we do. We know what the future holds for kiddos that are left behind. We know that many of these kids will NOT have a future if they stay behind and are not adopted.

So let me just lay this out here. What will happen to Long if he is not adopted? Well, if he is not adopted by the age of 14, he will never be adopted. It is a rule in China. At 14, these kids "age out." He will be on his own. His name will identify him as an orphan. It will be nearly impossible for him to find work. He will never be properly educated. He will more than likely be caring for himself at the age of 14. He will not have access to medical care. He will be treated differently than everyone else, because of his circumstance. If he is one of the lucky few, an organization will come along beside him and make sure that his basic needs are met, and that he finds a job. 

Adoption is redemption. For many kids in China, it is the only chance to have a future. 

Read this article to help make sense of the way things work in China. Read it here.  

So, I invite you to come to my house and spend an hour with him. Watch him giggle uncontrollably when the translating app says something ridiculous. Watch him play with Legos and examine every piece, to make sure he is building it correctly. Watch how excited he gets when he blows up a house on Minecraft. Watch him play with my children, and laugh as a carefree child. Watch him devour a bucket of KFC chicken and drink a Pepsi, a rare treat for this kid in China. Watch him respect and obey my husband and myself, and do exactly what is asked of him. Watch him drive monster trucks over a pile of Legos, and get huge eyes when he sees a REAL monster truck on TV. And then walk away unchanged. It is just not possible. There are millions of children just like Long all over the world who need a family to step forward and say "SEND ME! I'LL GO!" It is really our duty as human beings to fill in the gap for these kids. 

Keep sharing Long's story! 

Monday December 21: Day 4

I guess bragging about sleep being a "non-issue" got me into a little bit of trouble! So our little friend went to bed at 5:30 pm yesterday, and even passed on dinner. I took advantage of the early bedtime and was in bed at 9:30. My husband came in at 11:30 and said Long was awake, but he told him to go back to bed. Then he added "but now I think he's in the living room... alrighty then, good night!" 

I could not stand the thought of that boy being awake alone while we all snoozed, so I got up to talk to him. Through the app, I told him he had to try and stay in bed and close his eyes. Of course he said "ok" because he is the sweetest, most easy going child ever. Then I asked if he was hungry and I got a "YES!!!" shouted in my face. So, I guess sleep can wait. Time to feed the skinny Chinese boy. 

Before we went down to eat, his interest was peaked by a Minecraft book. He was looking at the pictures and he kept asking me, "what is this?" What I wanted to tell him was that it was a pointless game that I really don't understand, but every American child is obsessed with it. He didn't like my sarcastic English response (OK, maybe he just didn't understand what I was saying) so he took my phone, went to the google translate app, hovered over the words, and translated it into Mandarin. Ever read a book that way? Let me tell ya, it takes a long time. I finally distracted him enough to get him downstairs to feed him.

This boy totally gets the UK/UL joke in our house. He is really taking to Rick, and Rick totally brainwashed him within hours of landing in the US. He likes to tease me about blue, and he recognizes the UK symbol now. While I was cooking his noodles he said (in very broken English...) "Mommy, Mommy... look at blue.. BAD... look at red...GOOD! And that little turkey had taken the blue game pieces from the trouble game and put them on the floor, and set the red game pieces up on top of the board. HA! Then he found a UK wristband and said "AHHHH... blue" and threw it across the room. Don't worry friends, there is still time. In all seriousness, we do tell him it is OK to like both and he does give a thumbs up for red and blue. I think he just likes to pick on me because he likes my reaction! 

So there we sat eating noodles at 1:00 in the morning. I might have popped a little melatonin into his hot tea as well. We talked for a bit, and then I said he could play the iPad in bed. I gave him 30 minutes to play and then said lights out. I laid with him to make sure he didn't get out of bed, and finally left his room at 2:30 am. He slept until 7:30, and then stayed awake all day.

This picture has nothing to do with my post, but he likes the vacuum cleaner. He can have as much fun as he wants vacuuming my house!

Let me tell you about the gift we had today!! A couple from our church came over to talk with Long. They are fluent in Mandarin and English. It was a BLESSING! They explained to him why we celebrate Christmas, but to our surprise... he said that Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus, and Jesus is the son of God. WOW! He told them he doesn't remember where he learned that, and that he doesn't know any Christians and he has never been to church in China. They explained some things that our family will be doing over the next few days, and then clarified any questions he had about being with us. It was so great to have the communication piece eliminated for a bit. He told them that life is different, but he is happy. He said the first day was really hard in the airport. He didn't know what was going on and neither did his teacher. That broke my heart! I can't even imagine how scary and upsetting that must have been. And he handled it with so much grace. That speaks volumes to the type of kid he is. I thought maybe he was getting homesick, but he said he didn't miss China. I asked if he wanted Chinese food, and he said "NO! I want KFC." I started laughing when the translator told me that, and Long started shouting "Chicken, Chicken, Chicken" in English. Haha! He said he doesn't get it often in China, it is only a treat on rare occasions.  We spent an hour with this lovely couple, and they offered to help with communication issues over the next few weeks. They also watched him play games on his favorite Chinese website and verified the games were for kids and that there wasn't anything inappropriate. That made me feel better!

I love that God provides the perfect people, at the perfect time, to fill a need. Thank you to this lovely couple for helping us today!

We spent the morning playing around the house and then the big moment... he got KFC for lunch. When I told him it was time to go to KFC, he jumped up and started shouting "KFC! KFC! KFC!" as he ran to get his shoes on. That boy was beaming with excitement. He couldn't decide what he wanted, I think he wanted it all! Every bite he took, he would close his eyes and say "good, good" with a smile. I have never seen anyone enjoy a meal the way this boy enjoyed his lunch today. He ate a ton! This might be the ticket to fattening him up while he is here. Looks like KFC might be getting a lot of our money over the next 3.5 weeks! 

Normally I am the one who is remembering to take pictures, and bugging him to smile. When he sat down to eat, he pointed to my phone, got on the app, and said "photo." He wanted this moment captured! Something so simple was such a big deal to him!

We made a quick trip to Walmart to get Long some medicine. He told the translator that his nose is stuffy, so I wanted to give him something to make him more comfortable. Walmart with 6 kids= herding cats. Wowza. I won't be doing that again. They were all very good, it was just crowded and we take up a lot of room in the aisle. I got even more stares than I do with 5 kids. Go figure. 

The rest of the day was spent at home, playing games and tinkering around the house. He didn't like the potato dinner I made, so he didn't eat much for dinner. Funny story- we are a loud family. Well, certain members of our family are loud. Tonight at dinner, Long took the app and told Timmy to speak in a low voice. Preach on, brother! We got such a kick out of that. 

Hello, my name is Long. I am from Southern China, and I am freezing to death. And this dinner smelled bad, so I am only eating fruit and yogurt. Can someone please take me to KFC? How about a heated KFC? 

We gave him some melatonin a few hours before bed so he would be sleepy, and it seemed to work. He went to bed around 8:30 and his eyes were closed before I made it out of the room. It was another great day with a very precious boy.

I think it is really important to note that everything is not perfect and wonderful at all times. Rick and I are tired... you would think we are the ones with jet lag. I mean, completely and totally exhausted, how am I going to make it through the day, kinda tired. There is no "down" time. He is curious and interested in all kinds of things, so we have to watch him constantly. I don't mean this in a bad way, because we feel blessed to show him SO much. It is just tiring, you know? Also, he is fascinated with devices. He clearly has experience with them. (Oh, on a side note...he told the translator he doesn't like how slow our connection is, LOL!) He changes all of our iPads into Chinese, downloads apps, and goes on sites that we don't recognize and can't read. We have to watch him with the devices, but because this is not something he has in China, he always wants it. I completely understand his desire to have this stuff. It is not something he gets in China (he told us he learned from a family he used to live with, but he does not have anything where he lives now), there is comfort in seeing his language and games he understands, and it is entertaining for him. We have tried to set boundaries, but it seems as though the language barrier has not worked in upholding those boundaries. Rick and I made a decision that ALL devices will disappear tonight. We will give all of the kids 1 hour to play the iPads tomorrow, when we can all sit together and do it. If this doesn't work, then the devices might disappear for the remainder of his trip. When we do this in the future, I think devices will never even appear. It takes away from the purpose and experiences of the trip. 

Our kids have been great, and have even shown a lot of interest in his language. Timmy tries to use it the most, which is hilarious. He talks into the Google translate app constantly. He also follows Long around and says "do you want to play with me?" It is adorable. But there has also been a bit of unspoken stress between our kids. They are getting upset a lot easier than normal. It is just a big change for them. These are minor things in the big picture of what we are doing. It doesn't take away from how precious and wonderful this young man is, just that the process is hard and tiring. But isn't that the point? I mean, if orphan care and adoption was easy... would there even be an orphan crisis? The hard is what scares people, but the hard is what makes it so rewarding. I can't wait for the day this young man finds out that he has a family. Forever. No more orphanages, no more foster families. A forever. I'm pretty tired, but I would live this exhausted for the rest of my life if it meant that this child, and others just like him all around the world, could go to bed with the security and love of a family. It reminds me of a quote by Hunter Thompson that I love... 

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”

And if I could add something... Knowing that every bit of it was worth it. 

December 20: Day 3

We had a very busy day! Long had another great night and slept all the way through until 7:00 am. He did not like our breakfast of cinnamon rolls. I told him that he needs to tell me when he doesn't like something so I can find something he does. I want this boy to put on some pounds while he is here!

Our day started out at church. We told him we were going to church and a few things that he could expect to see there. It was his first time at church.

This was his first time at church

He sat with us during worship... and you guessed it, he was freezing. He was wearing 3 layers and a vest, and Rick and I both had to put our coats around him. This boy needs some fat on his body to keep warm. He actually dozed off during church. I guess it would be pretty boring to sit and listen to something that you don't understand. He did recognize the Bible, and I asked if he knew about Jesus. He said yes. I asked who told him, and he said that he read about Him on his own. I asked if he had a Bible, and he did not. There is a lot more I would love to know about that, but we are so limited on how we communicate. 

We had lunch at home. He told us through the translator app that he wanted to go outside. I told him it was cold, and he said that was OK. We put a few more layers on him and headed outside. We explored the creek, the woods at the back of our property, and then had a fire. He thought the fire was cool! He said that he has seen a fire before. They loved collecting sticks and throwing them in the fire. Rick let him drive the tractor, and then he spent some time riding our rip rider. We spent several hours outside. 

Not sure what he thought about exploring the woods

He loved building a fire. They all worked together to get this branch carried to the fire.

He loved to watch it. Then he got on the app and said "I want BIG fire!" LOL, such a boy

He had a big smile on the tractor!

He never really figured out how to make these spin, but he liked riding it. 

Some friends said we could visit their farm to see the animals. Long has never seen a horse, and you MUST see a horse while you are in Kentucky! We headed over there just before dinner and he dozed off in the car. I think the travel, and everything he is taking in, is just wearing him out. 

He perked up when we got to the farm and enjoyed petting the animals. He saw horses, cows, chickens, ducks, sheep, and farm dogs. I know it was a lot for him to take in... AND he was freezing. Our friends gave us one of their coats for him. We just can't keep this boy warm!

His first time to see a horse.

Holding a baby rabbit

He got to hold a duck, and the duck kept tucking his head behind his hood. It made him giggle!

He fell asleep before we were even out of the driveway. As soon as we got home, he ran straight to his room and got in bed (with his 18 layers on, including the winter coat.) I told him to put his night clothes on and use the bathroom. He snuggled up in bed and was OUT! Poor thing is exhausted. I am sure it is a combination of everything. The travel, everything new, a very busy day... he was just tuckered out. 

We are so amazed at this young man. He is so sweet, caring, and curious. He really is a great kid. I hope he is having fun and not missing his China home too much. I did find someone today that is going to help me translate. I hope this helps us get to know him better. 

The possibility of him NOT getting adopted is really weighing on me. There is certainly no guarantee. He is just so great, any family would be lucky to have him. We just have to trust that this is part of His plan, and know that He loves Long way more than any of us could.

Here's hoping that he makes it through the night after a 5:30 bedtime!

Saturday, December 19: Day 2

Wow! What a day!

Long slept until 7:30 am. What a relief. I think it is safe to say that his sleeping schedule has been adjusted. He woke up happy and started playing with the kids right away. 

Shortly after breakfast we headed out to the YMCA. He got to play some basketball and then explore the play area. The kids loved showing him around. When I came to check on him, guess where I found him? In the toddler section playing with the wooded trains. He is just fascinated with those things! He told me through the app that he was happy. When it was time to go, he looked a little bummed. I told him we could come back everyday. As we were walking out he saw the swimming pool. His eyes got big and he ran to the door to go in, but we told him it would have to wait for another day. 

Yesterday I asked him what his favorite food was and he told me pizza and hamburgers. Ha, ha. After the Y, I asked if he wanted a hamburger. He shouted YES!!! And then he added, "and I want a coke." We went to McDonald's and he got a cheeseburger, chicken nuggets, french fries and a coke. I know our time together has been short, but this was the first time I saw him eat this much. He LOVED it! 

We spent the rest of the day playing around the house. He spent a lot of time with Legos today and then he discovered the NERF guns. He thought that was awesome.

He didn't like the soup I made for dinner, so Rick made him a grilled cheese. He was pretty happy about that grilled cheese sandwich! Timmy, my youngest, was acting like a character (nothing new for this family) and made Long laugh so hard that apple juice flew out his nose. My table full of boys erupted in laughter. 

He thought it was hilarious that his cheese did this. Grilled cheese was a big hit!

They are working together to complete this huge marble run. 

He found the circuit kit today, and really enjoyed playing with it.

Overall, it was another happy day. He is such a special young man. I tried to ask him a few questions to get to know him better, but he wasn't really sure how to respond. It is hard to tell if he doesn't want to talk about it, or if the translator said something crazy.When it was time for bed, I told him to get washed up and he did so immediately. He gave Rick a high 5, and me a hug, and then jumped into bed with a smile. 

Please continue to share his story. I am confident that God has special plans for this young man. I am just thankful that He found a way to use us to help this amazing kid find his forever. 

Friday December 18: day one

I was a little nervous about jet lag and getting him on our time. Rick and I were operating on 3 hours of sleep and I was really hoping we could get him adjusted quickly. We went to bed at 4:30 am, and he was up at 9:30 am and seemed happy and rested. He had breakfast... a hard boiled egg and a huge bowl of rice. 

I wanted to go to an assembly at school, so I left the house before he woke up. Rick told me that he was asking for me while I was gone. He is the sweetest! 

Rick and Long spent the morning exploring the house and talking through translate. In our house... you are either a smart Kentucky fan, or a not-so-smart Louisville fan. (Sorry, I'm the author of this blog!) Rick felt led to tell him the "red" team was the best. I can play that game, too! This poor Chinese soul will be so confused when he goes home.

Go CATS... or maybe it was GO CARDS?!?!?

When I got home from the school assembly, he came out of the house, smiling, to meet me at the car. 

We took him to Walmart to buy some clothes and try to find some food he likes. He picked out 2 super hero shirts (and let me add that he got super excited when he saw it) and 2 pairs of pants. We used translate to ask him about different foods we saw. This was my favorite conversation: "Do you like bacon?" His eyes got really big and he shouted YES!!!! (no app needed for that response!) So, we loaded up on a few pounds of bacon. Seriously, bacon, why do you have to be SO good????

He wanted to push the cart at Walmart

After our Walmart trip we took him to eat pizza. That was the first thing he asked for when we met him last night. Ha, ha!! He didn't eat a lot of it, and seemed to be more fascinated with the ice in his drink. We let him get a "cola" and he looked like he died and went to heaven while he was drinking it. I think that might be the reason why he didn't eat very much. We will definitely limit the "cola" for him from here on out.

Pizza!!! and yes, our southern China friend is not enjoying the cold weather!

He pulled his ice out and put it on the napkin. He loved to touch it and move it around with his hands. I can only imagine what he is thinking! We take advantage of the smallest things in our daily lives. 

We spent the rest of the day hanging out at home. He explored the house, and played with different toys. He loves legos, and anything he can build. While he is building it, he will stop and examine it. I came downstairs to find him playing with our wooden trains. You know, the ones my kids outgrew by the time they turned 5? He loved it. He built a huge track and loved rolling the trains across it and watching the trains go down the hill. I guess when you have never experienced something like this, it is fascinating to the mind.

I loved watching him play and explore with these. He loves anything he can build. And yes, he is still freezing. We turned up the heat, but he still prefers to wear layers around the house. 

Our kids came home from school around 3:00 and were thrilled to meet him. Andrew, our oldest, is a life saver. These two are very "like minded" and Andrew has the patience to play and build whatever Long wants to do. 

He is obsessed with technology, and any type of gadget he can find. He wanted us to put our Ipad in Chinese, so we did that for him. Then he started downloading games and trying to access his social network account from China. He got a little upset when it didn't work. We decided that moving forward, electronics will disappear and we will have set times to play them. I am just amazed at how much he can do with a device. He clearly has daily interactions with them in China. Here is a funny story- while we were exploring the house, he found my big computer in the basement. He pointed and said "computer?" and then sat down. He told me through the translate app that he wanted it in Chinese. I told him we couldn't do that, and it wouldn't work. He looked at me in such a way that I could tell what he was thinking. It was somewhere along the lines of "stupid American." He took my mouse and started clicking buttons, totally trying to find the settings to change my language. So... he has also been exposed to this before. I distracted him and moved on to something else because who knows if I would be able to "undo" what he does to my computer!

We had dinner at home, and then washed up for bed. He is so easy going. He washed his face, his hands, and brushed his teeth and went straight to bed at 9:00. No problem at all! I gave him a hug and told him good night. He smiled and hugged me back, which I loved. He is such a good boy. Any family would be beyond blessed to have him. He has so many talents, and is so curious about things around him. 

We told him we would play basketball tomorrow morning and he was really happy about that. Thank you, Lord, for bringing this sweet boy into our lives. We pray that a family will step forward. Please feel free to contact me by email at sarahmhatfield@hotmail.com if you have any questions, or if I can lead you down the path of adoption. 

Arrival

Our host child went through nearly 36 hours of travel before landing in Nashville, TN really late on Thursday night, December 17, 2015. 

There were 26 kids participating in the program. They flew from Guangzhou to Beijing and then split up. A group flew to New York, and a group flew to LA. Some families picked up their host children in LA, but a group of 5 got on yet another plane to come to our part of the country. 

The whole group in Guangzhou

Our guy is in the black vest. Clearly, he is not happy about the fact he has to get on ANOTHER flight!

We were so nervous! We didn't know how we would communicate, or how he would feel after traveling for so long. We had a total of 4 translators with us to ask any last minute questions or give last minute directions before driving another 3 hours to our home. You could feel the excitement the moment our group spotted them. 

The Nashville group is ready!!!

Check out the excitement here.

The first time we met him. What a doll!

He came right to us and you could tell he was nervous. We had the translator tell him a few things about our drive, our house, and what to expect when he got home. We made sure he knew how happy we were to have him. After 5 minutes, you could tell he was already loosening up. We gave him a gift, and before opening it, he went to his backpack and took everything out... looking for the gift he brought for us. I thought that was sweet. 

The car ride home went great. We talked back and forth with the translate app. He got the giggles a few times when the translator did not work and said something completely ridiculous. I gave him a hot wheel book with a matching car, and he LOVED it. He wanted to study the pictures, and read all the words. He kept pointing at me to read it, but I didn't know how to read it so that he would understand it! After getting frustrated with my lack of technology knowledge, he took my phone, went to my translate app, scanned the words and then read it in Chinese. Alrighty then. I guess he has done that a time or two. After he would listen to it in Chinese, he would examine the car. For example, one section was about the wheels, so he took a good long look at the wheels to help him understand. Smart as a whip, I tell ya.

I packed a lunch for him. I have made that dreaded trip 3 times, and every time I have been starving once landing. He was excited to see the juice box, sandwich and goldfish crackers. But, before he ate... he opened up his backpack and shared his Chinese snacks with me. This boy! He is a doll.

We had to stop for a bathroom break. When we pulled in to the gas station, he started frantically trying to repack his bag (that he had emptied to feed me snacks...) and through the translator app we told him this was only the bathroom. His response "this is a long bathroom." He walked through the gas station with huge eyes, examining everything he walked past. 

When we were just 30 minutes from home, those little eyes rolled back in his head and he was OUT! He slept for about 20 minutes and then woke up in a sweat and looked like he was going to be sick. Through the app, he told me he was dizzy. We put the windows down and gave him water. He drank the entire bottle, and then said he was fine. We made it home without the pukies! He walked in the house and just took it all in. We showed him the room where he would be sleeping and he loved looking at everything on the shelves. I told him to brush his teeth and wash his hands... and then he snuggled up in bed. I couldn't believe it was that easy!

First impressions: brave, incredibly sweet, and SMART as a whip. He is fiercely independent, and clearly has excellent care in China. I can't wait to watch him blossom over the next 4 weeks!

So, what exactly are you doing again????

We might have been asked that a time or 2 over the last few weeks. Here's the skinny- our family is passionate about helping children without families. It's pretty simple, if you ask us. Every child in the world deserves a family. No matter the situation or the circumstance, we believe all children should feel the love of a family. We adopted internationally on 2 different occasions and the experience changed us as human beings. Our eyes were opened, and we knew we had to do more.

With that being said, we are not in a position to adopt moving forward. We don't feel led to go down that path at this point in time, but we believe that we still have a role to play in the orphan crisis. A few years ago, we learned about the hosting program and found that there are several adoption agencies that have this program with different countries around the world. The adoption agency works with the orphanage in China (and other countries) to identify children that would make good candidates to travel to the USA, experience life here for 4 weeks-3 months, and then return to China (or their home country). When these children are in the States, something magical happens! People get to meet these awesome children and realize... WE COULD BE THEIR FAMILY!!! It seemed like a perfect match for us. We love the country of China, we love helping orphans, and our crazy family would love another kiddo running around the house. So, we made the plunge to host. 

"The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.' -Matthew 25:40

For 4 weeks over the winter break, we will welcome a handsome 11 year old boy into our home. He is from Southern China. I know I am a little biased... but he is a pretty awesome kid. Just wait until you get to know him! Could you do me a favor? Share this blog. Share it daily to spread the news about this precious young man. And you know what? You could totally host, too. Or come along side a family that is adopting and plan a fundraiser for them. Or sponsor a child at one of the many wonderful facilities around the world working to feed and educate orphans. Most importantly, you can commit to praying for these special children. 

Ready, set, GO.....

For more information about hosting, or adopting, visit this link.